“The More I Surrender, The More I WIN!” Murphy Jensen on Mental Health
Transcript
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Speaker:- And Shaun will tell me what you're doing
Speaker:in mental health, I was like, wow,
Speaker:this is a big subject that's really mixed up
Speaker:at the moment because we were just talking about
Speaker:before you came on the camera.
Speaker:I said, I don't understand these players'
Speaker:engine because they just bunch of pushy's
Speaker:as far as on concerns, the way they behave.
Speaker:Because the mental game was just as big
Speaker:and just as tough back in your days as it is now.
Speaker:They were kids that grew up with the hand failed,
Speaker:the silver spoon, everything that we didn't have.
Speaker:And now for them to wine and complain,
Speaker:it's like someone needs to just give them
Speaker:a wooden spoon over the ass, you know?
Speaker:- I don't know about that.
Speaker:We are being recorded.
Speaker:I thought I would fly up actually
Speaker:'cause I'm gonna get you in the minute.
Speaker:- Yeah, well, it's a fine line between
Speaker:Stupid and Clever.
Speaker:- Yes.
Speaker:- And we have more information than we'd ever had back then.
Speaker:- Totally great.
Speaker:- And I am a person that gets the call
Speaker:from a Hall of Fame tennis player
Speaker:or Hall of Fame whatever and they don't wanna live anymore.
Speaker:And they worked their butts off
Speaker:and they got the wooden spoon and they were,
Speaker:and they don't wanna be here anymore.
Speaker:Or I am someone that was restless, irritable
Speaker:from kindergarten to sixth grade.
Speaker:And I got spanked every single day
Speaker:by the nuns at the school and I didn't know it.
Speaker:But I had anxiety.
Speaker:I had fears, doubts and insecurities.
Speaker:I didn't know everyone else did too.
Speaker:But there is a difference I have learned.
Speaker:I'm pretty damn sure I had what they diagnosed
Speaker:as ADHD today.
Speaker:100%.
Speaker:And so a child at a boy in the school,
Speaker:a boy if you've got kids,
Speaker:develops a little slower than the girls.
Speaker:And if I get overwhelmed in a crowd
Speaker:and kindergarten or first grade or loud noises,
Speaker:there's nothing wrong with me.
Speaker:But you almost, my little guy is,
Speaker:does better with one-on-one.
Speaker:- Yep.
Speaker:And if he isn't sure of the rules of the game,
Speaker:how, you know, so, you know,
Speaker:Murphy, you're being disruptive, you know.
Speaker:You're running three miles.
Speaker:How about instead of going over to Murphy,
Speaker:little eight, 10-year-old Murphy and saying,
Speaker:you know, we don't throw our rackets
Speaker:at the tennis courts, right?
Speaker:But I see you're having a hard time.
Speaker:Is there anything I can do to help you right now?
Speaker:Do you need a little time?
Speaker:Do you need a little time?
Speaker:But I was told to run 30 miles and then I sucked.
Speaker:And then I was doing it wrong
Speaker:and I had a lot of shame and a lot of guilt around that.
Speaker:So, perception is everything.
Speaker:Now the professional players today,
Speaker:get on the road 52 weeks a year after you've played tennis
Speaker:every day of your life since the age of four to 18.
Speaker:And do you have any tools and life skills to operate?
Speaker:Now you've won, wimbleed it.
Speaker:Good luck.
Speaker:Good luck if you don't have the right.
Speaker:So, you and I both in the world of tennis has taught me
Speaker:since the:Speaker:How much mental coaching did I get outside of the wooden spoon
Speaker:and kicked out a practice and told to run home?
Speaker:My dad played American professional football
Speaker:and both parents were great coaches.
Speaker:And when I had a complete meltdown
Speaker:and I'm throwing rackets over the fence in a river
Speaker:after double-faulting three straight games,
Speaker:trying to be the top five player in the country
Speaker:going from top 20.
Speaker:I'm 20 and I'm playing David Wheaton, a double-fault,
Speaker:12 times in a row, I lost my cookies
Speaker:and my dad carried me off the court
Speaker:and they said, "You can't do that.
Speaker:It's my son, I can do that."
Speaker:And he didn't beat me, didn't make me run.
Speaker:And he said, "What do you have to say?
Speaker:"What's going on?"
Speaker:And I said, "Thank you for getting me off that court.
Speaker:"I didn't know what the hell was going on."
Speaker:I was having a moment that I wouldn't navigate.
Speaker:I put so much pressure on myself.
Speaker:I'm a baby, I'm 11, right?
Speaker:And so, those fears and doubts and insecurities
Speaker:led to me seeking your approval and affection
Speaker:at whatever cost.
Speaker:Hey Murphy, you're ranked this
Speaker:at the World Championships of 12 and under some kids
Speaker:and said, "Let's hit the mini bar.
Speaker:"I don't even know what the hell they're talking about."
Speaker:Smoke that.
Speaker:What is that?
Speaker:I didn't know not to, okay,
Speaker:'cause I wanted you to prove your affection
Speaker:because I was real to the fears and doubts
Speaker:and insecurities, right?
Speaker:And then I went to the French Open
Speaker:and I had my first panic attack.
Speaker:And I was overwhelmed, not in the safest place
Speaker:I've found always has been on the court,
Speaker:but it was off the court.
Speaker:How do I manage life between matches?
Speaker:How do I manage, I never signed up to be on the cover
Speaker:and nothing, okay?
Speaker:The opportunity is for agents and managers
Speaker:and coaches and teachers is to empower these pros
Speaker:or these future tennis players or human beings
Speaker:most importantly to navigate the losses.
Speaker:You're gonna get knocked down.
Speaker:Your heart is gonna break at some point.
Speaker:Yep.
Speaker:And you're gonna get disappointed.
Speaker:And what do you do when it ain't going your way?
Speaker:And you're not getting what you want when you want it.
Speaker:Do I freak out like a seven year old?
Speaker:And if I'm freaking out, there's something going on
Speaker:underneath the hood, you know?
Speaker:Yep.
Speaker:Yep.
Speaker:And I have the ability to accept life on life's terms today
Speaker:and I have found in my pathway of recovery
Speaker:the more I surrender, the more I win.
Speaker:I get this ego out of the way, this fear,
Speaker:I get knocked out and secured out of the way.
Speaker:And I am the secret sauce to winning any space in life
Speaker:is an open mind and open heart.
Speaker:And I come from a place of service and helping others
Speaker:until the day I die, you know?
Speaker:That's where the principal is helping others save my life.
Speaker:And anyway, back to you, Justin.
Speaker:The honor and the privilege to be in the room with you,
Speaker:it's not easy for people to transition out of a sport.
Speaker:They identify their self-worth.
Speaker:My self-worth isn't based on my ranking
Speaker:or my banking account or my SAT score or my school grades.
Speaker:You know, the most important relationship I've discovered
Speaker:in life is the one I have with me.
Speaker:Yep.
Speaker:If I gotta get the one, I gotta get right with the man in the mirror
Speaker:or I can't get right with anything.
Speaker:And that's the stuff that children, you know,
Speaker:I wake up in the morning, some days I got ahead
Speaker:that there's vultures in there.
Speaker:And they wake up and say, "Get up, Murphy.
Speaker:She's going to leave you.
Speaker:This business venture you're working on,
Speaker:they ain't going to work for you, you know?"
Speaker:And nobody appreciates you, don't you know that?
Speaker:And I got to say, "Oh, that now."
Speaker:First of all, the greatest thing I've learned is,
Speaker:I'm not my mind and I'm not my thoughts.
Speaker:Something noticed that in that too I am.
Speaker:I am a human being, having some kind of experience
Speaker:that, you know, how do you explain the unexplainable?
Speaker:You have to experience it.
Speaker:Well, there you have it.
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