Episode#:34 Bobby Schindler and Shaun J Boyce

In this episode, we talk to Murphy Jensen, 1993 ATP Doubles French Open Grand Slam Champion and cofounder of WeConnect Health Management.

About Murphy Jensen: (from LinkedIn) Murphy Jensen is an investor/entrepreneur and former professional tennis player and French Open Champion. Currently Co Founder & EVP of Business Development for WEconnect Health Management. WEconnect Health is an Mental Health/Addiction relapse prevention and real-time outcomes digital health platform, providing custom support and connection for those in recovery from Substance Use Disorder and Mental Health Challenges.

Jensen works tirelessly to reduce the stigma of mental health/addiction, and to encourage and lead others with the disorder to receive proper care. His passion is to bring awareness to mental health/addiction and leave behind a legacy of helping others.

Jensen is also a former French Open Champion and served as Coach of the Washington Kastles of World Team Tennis. He has coached tennis superstars including Serena Williams Venus Williams, Martina Hingis, Nick Kirigos, Leander Paes, Victoria Azarenka (2008), Francis Tiafoe and many more.

Murphy is determined to not let money be a factor to deter anyone from reaching out for help so you can download the FREE app here: https://www.weconnecthealth.io/free

From the website: “Born from our co-founders’ personal journeys in substance use disorder recovery, WEconnectโ€™s focus is providing real-world support for mental and behavioral health.

Our mission is to be a life-saving haven for those dealing with mental health and substance use challenges. We are devoted to empowering families, workplaces, healthcare environments, and communities through innovative mental wellness strategies, precise outcome data, and dedicated support networks. In unity, we forge a resilient first line of intervention that safeguards lives and fosters thriving futures.”

https://www.weconnecthealth.io/

Shaun Boyce USPTA: [email protected]

https://tennisforchildren.com/ ๐ŸŽพ

Bobby Schindler USPTA: [email protected]https://windermerecommunity.net/ ๐ŸŽพ

Geovanna Boyce: [email protected]

https://regeovinate.com/ ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‹๏ธ

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Transcript
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(upbeat music)

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Welcome to the Atlanta Tennis Podcast.

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Every episode is titled, "It Starts With Tennis"

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and goes from there.

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We talk with coaches, club managers,

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industry business professionals,

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technology experts, and anyone else we find interesting.

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We wanna have a conversation as long as it starts with tennis.

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(upbeat music)

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- Hey, hey, this is Shaun with the Atlanta Tennis Podcast,

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powered by GoTennis!

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Check out our calendar of Metro Atlanta Tennis events

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at LetsGoTennis.com,

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where you can also find deals on equipment, apparel,

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and members get 10% off our shop.

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So go get yourself an Atlanta Tennis Monster's shirt.

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I've got mine and I wear it all the time.

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In this episode, we talk to Murphy Jensen,

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co-founder of WeConnect Recovery,

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whose mission is to be a life-saving haven

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for those dealing with mental health

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and substance use challenges.

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Have a listen and let us know what you think.

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(upbeat music)

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- Just so you go tennis folks.

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No, this is not...

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Couple of weeks ago was the best time of my tennis life.

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I played my best stop in mid, last week of May,

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first week of June.

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Not my best stop was during the grass court season

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and I've been known to be late for a few Wimbledon matches

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and so to be late for go tennis?

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(laughing)

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- You can't buy this kind of consistency

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with the real tennis.

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- This is true and I like that.

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That leads me right into that first question

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because yeah, we all know who you were.

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Everybody knows, we know the stories

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of getting what locked in a hallway for hours.

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You've had some fun stories to tell,

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but I wanna focus on who you are now.

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So as opposed to who you were, who are you now?

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Other than a technical pro and a guy...

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- My wife will argue with me when I say,

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I'm a tech giant.

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- There you go.

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There you go, says matters in this case.

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I wanna talk about who you are now.

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Like Murphy Jensen, the question is,

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we're gonna talk about We Connect,

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we're gonna talk about AEDs.

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I'm gonna ask you the King of Tennis question.

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So you're gonna get the King of Tennis answer at the end.

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So you got the whole time to think about it.

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But right now, I wanna hear about you.

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I know you've, can we say you've changed?

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- Who are I?

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- I don't know if I've, have we started?

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- We're live.

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- And we're live on Go Tennis

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and we are live in Rockin' and Roland

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on your Go Tennis YouTube channel.

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- We are.

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- And is anybody watching live today yet?

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- I'm certain my wife is watching.

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- Oh, excellent.

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- So we have at least.

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- We have at least, we all think we know,

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I'm still trying to figure out who I was

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and where I've been.

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And currently, I'm still figuring out who I am.

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That will be a lifetime project and task.

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Who I am.

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I am really.

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I'll tell you, what I've gone through, I've grown through.

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I know that sounds like a bumper sticker,

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but it's true.

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And who I am today is a direct reflection

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of overcoming my setbacks,

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overcoming certain times of suffering

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that are all part of the human condition.

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I've learned more from my losses in life than my wins

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and that it's made me the person I am today.

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I like to say and feel like I am grateful for

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that I'm just another bozo on the bus called Life

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and that my job today is to be of service.

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To anybody and everybody that reaches their hand out

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for help for any reason.

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Hey, can you help me with my groceries?

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Hey, you're tall.

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Can you help me put this big heavy bag

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in the overhead bin in the airplane?

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Hey, I'm hurting and I'm scared

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and I don't know what to do.

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I heard you overcome some hurt and some scared Murphy.

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How did you do it?

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So who I am today?

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I'm Murphy. I'm someone of long-term recovery

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from mental health challenges and substance use disorder.

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In my first life I was a professional tennis player

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in French Open Champ.

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And currently I'm the co-founder

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of We Can Act Help Management,

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a digital healthcare solution,

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a mobile application with support and services

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for mental health and addiction services

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with peer recovery support specialists

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who we serve our health plans, hospital systems,

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employers, you know, anybody and everybody

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that reaches their hand out for help or needs help.

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You know, getting through the next 24 hours,

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the next 24 seconds.

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You know, I relate a lot of my stuff to my tennis game today.

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I'm playing a lot of tennis today

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and whether it's in my work life at We Can Act Help Management

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or facing breakpoint five, six and a third, second serve,

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this Hungarian monster, six, six,

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with fangs as foment at the mouth

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because he's just going to take my little waffle kicker

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and make me feed it.

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I'm scared.

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What do I do? Do I throw a Bobby Drop Shot?

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You know, go on your hand serve for this one,

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do pull a Michael Chang or do I relax and release and breathe

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and have faith and trust that I've got what it takes.

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And I will not regret going for that second serve.

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And it's a fine line between stupid and clever

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in this thing called life.

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You know, while I go for this much margin for air,

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like Sean might do or will I get it in that little box,

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throw some kicker spin

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and leave room for a miracle that a Hungarian animal

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is going to hit it over the fence.

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Yeah.

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I said to Francis Teapo

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in one of his first professional matches.

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I said to Francis, it scores two, two.

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He's playing Benjamin Becker and World Team tennis.

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I said, do you want to be in the Hall of Fame someday?

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Neither player has made a shot.

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And the score is two, two.

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And he says, yeah, I want to be in the Hall of Fame,

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Coach Murphy.

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So well, Francis.

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And this applies to the light.

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If you want to win, you have to hit it in.

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You know, all the fancy footwork and the spin

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and we can complicate a fart in the game in tennis

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or in life or we can keep it simple.

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And we can put it over the net in the box

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one more time than the other guy

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and I'm doing Monday or Tuesday with everybody else

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and so back to my original statement,

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my job is to serve.

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That's my baseline.

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And my serve,

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Luc would say my brother was one of the best parts of my game.

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And it wasn't because I served like Kevin Anderson

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or Sam Query or John Isner.

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It was because it was reliant.

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I could get that in under pressure.

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And I could, and I hit a ball that didn't get me hurt.

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There's the right shot, the wrong shot,

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the one that doesn't get you hurt

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or your partner hurt.

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Or, you know, and so

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and it's more of a neutral deal and I live life today

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and neutral a lot.

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You know, I'm grateful to be on the show with you guys

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and to be able to share the work.

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I've been blessed to do in the last eight years

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building this tech company has been the most impactful

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and important work of my life.

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We've served upwards to 500,000

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or approaching a million, you know, in the next year or two

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from 30 countries with support group meetings

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and peer services that help people.

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And it's the feedback I get.

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Man, I was dying and now I'm living.

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And I know what it was like to be dying.

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And where I am today,

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I never, ever could have imagined that

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I would be here with you.

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This is a tennis podcast and I want anybody

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that hears this tennis podcast to hear it from me first.

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A tennis court is the first time I've ever said this,

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saved my life.

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What are you talking about, Murphy?

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Well, this will probably lead into your next question

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and I'm cheating for you, Sean.

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A year and a half ago I died on a tennis court.

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I was dead for 18 minutes.

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And I have questions.

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Let's go.

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And I've had too much coffee, obviously.

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But 18 minutes is a different podcast, by the way,

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but I have questions.

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What are they?

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Oh, no, no, different.

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I mean, when we say you were dead for 18 minutes

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and I kind of put in the card and I say,

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hey, you know what, we're going to talk to this guy

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about what it was like to be dead.

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I think we could go way down a rabbit hole

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if there's really anything to talk about there.

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But I just want to point out

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that maybe we have the Atlanta,

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I used to be dead podcast.

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And we'll do that next week.

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Yeah.

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But yeah, so you died and you get to tell me,

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you get to look me in the eye and say, so I was dead

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and now I'm not.

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Yeah, a tennis court saved my life.

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And how that happened and for those that happened

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read about it or seen the story on tennis channel

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or tennis magazine.

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You know, every day I breathe,

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and I wake up with a different perspective

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than I did before coming out of that coma.

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I was dead on a tennis court for 18 minutes.

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They shocked me four times with an AED

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and automated external defibrillator.

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And my brother was screaming,

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Jensen's never quit.

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Kate needs you, Billy needs you,

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Duke needs you.

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We was told to talk to me as I like dead on that court.

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And they performed chest compressions in CPR.

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There are people in attendance.

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It was that AED court side that's that

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give me the capacity to be able to speak with you today.

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Because two more shocks in the ambulance

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on the way to the emergency room.

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They finally got a pulse.

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And so the chest compressions in CPR

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and the AED shocks

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produced in the oxygen in my brain.

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So I am speaking and I have cognitive.

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My brain function is healthy, thank God.

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And so the last 18 months or so,

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I've been recovering.

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I wasn't capable of

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walking without falling down.

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I had almost like a vertigo.

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My role was spinning for me.

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I suffered skull fractures, concussions

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and broken teeth from the landing on the hard court.

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Catching myself with my head.

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And today I ran four miles prior to this podcast

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in the rain, grateful, grateful.

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And I wasn't able to

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to do anything.

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We weren't sure if I'd ever played tennis or walk or talk again.

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And today I'm walking, talking, playing tennis better

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than I've ever played in my life.

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And I've learned how to not only live every day,

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like it's my last, but to

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appreciate every little detail of what's happening

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and what matters right now.

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And I look at life today as

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my resume, what do I want on my resume, on my debt debt?

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And I had a pretty good resume leading up to

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October 29th, 2021 with my cardiac arrest.

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My rebirth day coming out of that coma was November 4th.

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And since that day, I have made deposits

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and invested in

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life in a way I've never done before.

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And

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what I'm doing

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today as a result that was in on the whiteboard,

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there was someone that said that everyone's got a plan

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until they get punched in the mouth.

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Well, I got punched in the mouth again.

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And the love that was given to me from the game of tennis

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and the prayers and the love that my family received,

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I'll never be able to repay that debt.

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And the way I repay it is by ensuring that wherever

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there's a tennis court, there's an AED,

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wherever there's a group gathered, there's an AED

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and that I could potentially educate any way I can.

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I'm truly grateful for the opportunity to share

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what had happened to me and my only

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motive behind sharing it is that hopefully

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my experience can give hope

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and my experience

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can maybe help somebody.

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I could care less about the more anonymous mine.

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I seek out in my life the less anonymous I'm becoming.

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Now, the universe says, now we're going to give you

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a cardiac arrest and you're going,

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you and Demar Hamlin are going to speak on a hearing

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in the Congress alongside Chuck Schumer and a bunch

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of other fans here.

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We had the Congress Murphy and you and Demar are going

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to be buddies.

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I love Demar Hamlin and I even said to him, buddy,

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of all the people on this,

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this ball of dirt we live on,

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the skyd chief,

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the universe chose you, a national TV

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to be saved by an AED by chess compression CPR.

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Live, the number three is the most popular number in the world

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from where I sit.

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And it's funny, my number is four.

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I'm going to have to make a hat.

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Anyway, that's what's going on.

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I'm currently in Northern Michigan.

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My five year old calls a daddy's baby home.

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And in the backyard is the tennis court that my family

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built with our bare hands and cut down trees and carried out wood

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and and poured down concrete and learned to play

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the game of tennis and now there's in all the cracks

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on the court.

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There's beautiful daisies and flowers blooming.

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And it's so beautifully ugly that we don't

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want to resurface it, you know?

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It tells the story of a family that made the impossible possible,

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you know, mom and dad were school teachers

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in the not big salaries in the early 70s, you know,

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at best, 20 grand a year each.

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And four kids making it to win over them.

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Four kids making it to the grand slam level.

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And from a Christmas tree farm and, you know,

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the sky's the limit, anything's possible.

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When I'm up there on my run and I'm thinking about the people

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that that think there are limits.

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I mean, anything's possible.

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If you put in the work, do the daily disciplines,

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whether it's on a tennis court or in the classroom, you know,

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dreams do come true if you've got the road map and the recipe.

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And you do the work and and love it.

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You know, 55 in October.

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And I'm Colin Wilson in the engineers and developers of brackets four days a week.

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And we're talking about technology and engineering of rack string.

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And I'm what's in these balls today?

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Because Carlito Alcaraz, it's a forehand that's like for modern space.

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You know, it's like there's no gravity.

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I mean, it's that forehand I grasped.

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Let's go.

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How does token Murphy get that forehand?

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Right?

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Guys, who's coming with me?

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Go tennis.

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I mean, I could find a hundred thousand people on the land that would sell their house

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for that forehand.

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You know, that's true story.

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That's a big forehand.

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Bobby, how does he hit that forehand?

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Back at it.

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I have no idea.

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It's just you hear it.

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I don't see it.

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I hear it.

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I can't see that well anymore.

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It's nice.

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So that's what's going on in the world of Merck is first and foremost my family.

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And my relationship with my my HP higher power.

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And I want to do God's will all day every day.

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Whatever that looks like, you know, and today it looks like

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helping those like me that have challenges with mental issues like anxiety, depression,

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the feeling of being overwhelmed.

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I'm really focused on children, my children's children, what services and support can we

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have in place to help those?

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And the way we're doing that is helping communities through employers, you know,

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as an anonymous, confidential, first line of defense.

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You know, the whole world doesn't need to know.

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I share my story because my heart has been healed over time.

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And my mental health issues are directly related to my heart, healthy issues.

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You know, in that heart, cardiac arrest came out of left field.

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You know, I'm in perfectly good shape.

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I'm in the best physical shape I've ever been in my life leading up to that.

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I'm on a tour with the Brian Brothers and Sam Quirian, some dudes and

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everything they'll live for and, you know, get punched in the mouth.

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When you said get punched in the mouth, but you very specifically said get punched in the mouth again.

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And I think that's the hard part for those, especially for a mental health point of

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you. And thankfully, I don't have a lot of direct experience with struggling like

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that. I've got my own struggles as we all do.

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But you said again, and that's the thing.

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Some people get up and Bobby and I have a friend here in town and his, his

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phrases, you fall down seven times, you get up eight, but you get punched in the mouth

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once and your plan goes out the window and you get yourself back up and you think,

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okay, that was my time.

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That was my hard time, right?

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And then all of a sudden, it just happens again.

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Yeah. Well, I've got to tell you it's, it's, I got no, I had some to tell you the truth.

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That I haven't shared this publicly, but I had some survivors guilt.

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You know, and my first question on my therapist was, why was I still here?

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And so we're all finding out the last 16 months, what's about recovery and

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walking again and talking again and the concussions and skull fractures,

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you know, still have a lot of noises.

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My left ear rings 24 seven and again.

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I got it good.

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I'm covered because of my recovery from SUD and mental health stuff that really

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serves me.

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That serves me in life on a tennis court because, oh, I'm having a bad day.

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Compared to what?

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That's my point of reference.

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I'm covered, man.

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I had a milkshake last night with the whipped cream on top and the cherry and

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and I wasn't going to miss that at my hometown house of flavors.

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Blue moon ice cream.

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I mean, this is unbelievable.

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Speaking again, from sitting across the table at the house of flavors and letting

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them to miss you and I tell my wife the story when I was six, seven years old.

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My dad rewarded me and I got a pair of Jack Purcell blue converse

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shoes as a picture of me in the lab with my Wilson Wood racket at the courts.

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My dad afterwards takes me to the house of flavors and he gets me a blue moon in

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a class, a class with the whipped cream and red.

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You imagine like this aqua blue people.

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I hope you check it out.

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House of flavors, letting to miss you.

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And I'm seven years old and my reward for a good tennis and practicing hard was

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this milkshake.

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And I'm in my short tennis white shorts and my white shirt and I'm tea-boning

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this I'm just killing this milkshake.

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You know, brain freeze.

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I don't care.

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I'm spilling.

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Bam!

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It falls all over me and I'm fried.

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I'm going for the love of God.

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No.

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And I see this seat where I sat.

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It's just two two boots down from where I'm sitting with my six year old.

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And in the owner of this restaurant rolls in.

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I'm counting the waitress.

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The story her uncle is my best friend when I was little.

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And as I'm telling the story, I turn my wife said something.

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The water class.

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It happens again.

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I'm covered in water.

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My six year old's laughing at me.

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So, you know, I've learned not to tell the world of the universe my plans.

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You know, I can stay right here where I'm at.

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I could do the footwork in this thing called life on and off the court and in work

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and into my family.

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If I'm coming from a place of how I can help and how I can help my wife or my kids

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or my neighbors or my community, I have a much better what I can give rather.

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How I get stable in life is by coming from a place of service.

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When I'm thinking about Murphy all the time, who needs that?

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When I'm thinking about how I can be helpful or useful in my day,

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I'm where I need to be on the beam.

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You know, I'm in that pocket and the psychiatrist will call it flow.

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You know, back in the day, Bob, do you remember that we were doing we're in the zone, man.

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And in the best tennis I ever played is when I wasn't thinking and I worked in my name.

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And I'm not hitting tennis balls.

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I'm feeling on tennis balls because I want to hit a forehand like so and so.

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Which one? Because I've got infinite forehands.

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It just depends on the situation.

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If the ball is on the ground, I'm going to dig it up like a golf shot.

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If I'm up here, I'm a flat and out.

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And so I don't limit what's possible in my day going forward and my life going forward.

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And I don't know how long I'm going to be here and if anybody thinks they do, you know,

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welcome to reality.

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The reality is my recovery from all this is taken away the permanence that life used to pretend to offer me.

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That I'd be great.

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If I'm never going to lose, look how good I am.

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Or I'm this going to be great forever or crap forever.

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No, this too shall pass this moment.

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And then there's, then there's next one.

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And what I shared with my teams in the world team tennis were the, the principles of my recovery, which is,

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I, you can't stay clean on yesterday's shower, the practice and the workout and the wins from yesterday aren't helping me today.

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I've got to make those deposits, make those investments, keep on working, keep on trucking and doing what I know is the next right thing.

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And the other thing is I learned and recovery, I couldn't unscramble, scrambled eggs.

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And now none of this life in the world that tennis happens without a team and our team was led by our mom Patricia Jemson and she taught me.

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The principles to live by which, you know, we were successful in the tennis world, not because of necessarily what we accomplished on the court.

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It was more how we treated people and how we were willing to sign every autograph until two o'clock in the morning on our third ass stadium or at that time is Armstrong and, and, and that we knew that we were given a very precious gift.

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A, to be decent tennis players.

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B, to be on the tour as tennis players as a gift.

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To be playing like Louis Armstrong or Senator were willing to that's a gift.

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I don't care if it's first round or first round qualities or the qualifier for the qualifier.

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That's a gift playing this game is a gift.

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You know, living, living this life as a gift and it might be hard.

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But it was, it was through those challenges that our family set us up for everything. There was, if it was easy, you know, to go win a major everyone would be doing it.

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And I don't take it for granted, you know, so, and you don't need to be when a grand slam to be successful.

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You can go out there and lose.

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First round and three five championships and be successful. You went out there and went for it. That's successful.

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Yeah, you came up bloody and beaten and you gave it your best shot. That's successful.

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It's not, you know, a Ferrari and a private jet in a fat bank account.

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It's, it's loving what you do and giving love wherever you can. That's successful.

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I like that a lot. Can you tell us the

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can you give us a bit of the, we connect kind of the personal, the personal explanation because earlier you gave us the official.

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Here's what we do. This is what the marketing team wrote to say, all right, Murphy, when somebody asks, what does we connect do? Here are the words and here's the order that they come in.

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What is we connect for you? You say you're going to answer the phone. I'm sure it's not always you. We sure busy, but helping everyone helping how if I'm in Atlanta.

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How does we connect help?

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Well, there's access for all which anybody on the planet can download the premobile application and there are upwards to six eight support group meetings for family, loved ones grief.

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It not only helps those with substance use disorder. There are meetings that are, you know, anonymously and confidentially, I think is is key.

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Led by peer recovery support specialists.

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You know, if I am going to attend a score, I'm going to have someone helping me learn the game that has knows how to play the game knows the rules of the game knows what's going on.

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So these peers are people of lived experience that are nationally and state certified in crisis prevention.

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And these support group meetings are magical. I know that

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to get through a crisis or they end up creating a community. So number one, people from Atlanta, anybody can download the app.

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You know, the way prior to COVID, the only support you can get was maybe through maybe your church, maybe the problem that maybe through a 12 step program.

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And there's just so much stigma and guilt and shame around someone seeing you.

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So it's a leverage technology to allow me to be in a meeting with someone from Australia, right?

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That, you know, oh my god, I've been scared too.

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Or I'm overwhelmed now. Or how am I going to get the bills paid in the kitchen sink is filled to the gills and you're in support group.

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You know, the thing about life is the brain and the ego will tell me that I've got to do this thing alone.

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And I and what my recovery is given me is I don't have to be alone in all this.

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And I'm not alone. And my problems aren't unique. And that takes the weight and the size and the magnitude of those problems down the right size.

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Okay, this is what's what's going on. Back to your original question is, yeah.

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And then whether it's your health insurance or employers, where you work makes a difference.

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I'm going on a worldwide tour to you know, I'm looking to create form and alliance of CEOs and chief human resources officers, where we're going to make the worst workplace.

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A safe environment and the healthy environment that it's that at least the admission that these these issues come up.

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We spend a third of our lives in the workplace. Why wouldn't we have services and support way before it becomes a problem?

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Because I don't know who said this.

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But the idea that one has to hit rock bottom before they can get help.

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It's like saying that that I need to get to stage five terminal cancer before things can get better terminal.

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Not happening. And if we're not we don't take this serious, um, you know, we'll be going to a lot of funerals.

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You know, the fentanyl epidemic and addiction epidemic and everything else in self medication.

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But my mental health issues preceded my substance misuse.

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And whether you're if you were to ask anybody why they took what's the I mentioned motive earlier?

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What's my motive from the first drink if it was my first drink at 12 or 13? What was my motive?

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My motive was there's some New York kids at a junior tennis tournament said that's at the minibar and drink some vodka.

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I didn't know what vodka likes and that's not how I was raised.

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But I wanted your approval. I wanted your affection. I wanted you to like me.

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No, hey, that smoke smoke a joint. What the hell is that? Once again, you know, I don't need anything outside of me to make me complete today.

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You know, I am enough. I measure up and I've got what it takes. I don't need a drink or a drug to get where I need to go.

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So what I'm sharing with you is the messaging and the love and the language of recovery.

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And that's embedded in the weeknight platform. I love it. I've been for some reason there's a theme in what I see in movies and television now.

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And as I as I get older in my own family now and my own interests have shifted a little bit, of course.

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And the theme I see right now is whatever you're going through in life, if you try to hide it and keep it from yourself, everything goes awful and you're in a horror movie.

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And everything just goes bad because you're trying to deal with it yourself and you've got demons in your head, whatever television show I was watching, whatever,

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what? Something's going wrong with the character and the character doesn't hell anyone.

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That's the whole thing. It's the whole reason everything goes bad. The characters that are able to come forward and say, I'm having visions or for some reason my left leg doesn't work right.

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When you admit it, when you talk about it, when you share what's going on with you and I know it's hard.

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Yeah.

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And it's been there, but just to say it to somebody.

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Yeah, you could not be embarrassed by that and say, Oh, for some reason, I can see a purple dinosaur over there in the just say it.

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When you say it out loud for some reason, others are able to help you.

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Yeah, I heard an expression that which was, I'm only as sick as my secrets.

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Oh, I like it.

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You know, but at the same time to have a safe place to share that stuff, you know, a safe place where I'm not going to be judged where I'm not going to be.

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I think empathy, we need to overdose this planet with more empathy and love and compassion and more understanding as opposed to top of not.

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Well, dual diagnosis and certain mental health conditions aren't chosen for one cell and suicidal ideation.

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You know, that's a real thing and if you and I will start leak and oil right here on the go attend a spot guess because children between the ages of 14 and 20, 22, leading cause of death is second leading cause of death.

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And I think it was every 90 bad numbers, best statistics, even more than the fentanyl overdoses accidental overdoses.

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And addiction is a disease and we all have minds, you know, and is being able to determine the truth from the false what's going on in my head by what you're saying by me sharing with mom and dad mom and dad's making a safe place to say dad.

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I'm scared.

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I think it's really important. I tell my 24 year old son is turning 24 that I'm got anxiety and I don't want to go on an airplane and I don't want to leave home. I tell my big boy that.

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This is danger going to be okay. And so that takes the weight.

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You know, the more I like you said this if I don't say something or this way, if I the more I focus on the problem, the more the problem increases the more I the solution is to share it.

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You know, I don't care if it's a priest or rabbi, a therapist, the good news is children at a at a rate never seen before. And maybe our history are talking about anxiety are talking about screen addiction are talking about things.

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They got to and I think it's because out like so in the channels and there's a better way to go. There is a way to go in the way is for me, no way is the way I let go of everything. My attachment to results, my attachment.

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And that's how I can go to Bobby zone and be in the tree serving 48 as a match when I don't say what it's supposed to look like and I go out and enjoy tennis.

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Be in joy as opposed to being in fear.

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"oh God, I can't lose this! My UTR raking is going to go down the roof!"

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"Guys, where is your going to play like crap? Good luck!"

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And back to the way my big boy was playing like Junior

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National tournaments and stuff. And he said to me, and like,

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we're hitting on the wall. He can't even breathe. He's so nervous before the match.

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And after they were insane, you know, he came and said,

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you know, second serves. And then he says to me, 'Okay, then I'll start die.

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If I can just get out of my own way, opportunities just fall in my lap on that tennis court."

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And that's what I'm talking about. And that's been my experience, Bobby.

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Well, I can't tell you how, you hate even to say this, allowed on the way home,

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my daughter informed me how wonderful theater mates, father had just committed suicide.

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And, you know, what are they going to do to help this family? And you sit there, you know,

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and really that's what it's all about. I mean, yes, the gentleman killed himself.

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He's gone. He left a wife and two kids that now have to try to find their way in this world.

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And, you know, the sad part is how did he get here?

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And the theory is, of course, and I'm not a social media guy.

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Not a fan of it. I think it's causing way too many problems.

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And you would think in an age where communication is so easily accessible,

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we'd communicate more, but our communication and all the researchers coming out just last week

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with the sub-accident, the world is seeing is just a complete lack of empathy.

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And on so many levels, and it's horrifying.

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We've become, you know, we see other people's pain and it's a joke. It's, you know, we laugh that,

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you know, whatever it is. And obviously the world needs outlets.

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And we need people to get out there and talk about it and make people realize it's okay to say things

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out loud and not just look at my house, look, you know, that the good stuff, you know, talk about everything,

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talk about everything. So this is, I'm having a great time listening just because it, you know,

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out of all the days, this is really striking the bow.

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Well, thanks for sharing that, Bobby, because what I, what first thing I felt when you share that

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story is what you shared, which is the family, and how are they going to survive, right? And that's

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mission critical. My prayers to that gentleman, that was a very sick guy, you know, that, and we think

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that we are immune, that we, that this could never happen to me, we're delusional.

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And from my personal experience, this, like I may have mentioned already, this stuff is a disease

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of isolation. And this can be a very scary place if I'm allowing it to run the show, right? And

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I can tell you a number of famous people that a couple I knew that took their lives.

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And we're in sound minds, sober individuals had everything to live for, successful lives. Those are,

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you know, very, very, very sick mentally, not well, you know, to, to, to go down to execute, you know,

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and the statistics say that, you know, those thoughts, you know, the attempt will happen within

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the first 10, 10 hour, minutes or something like that of, so, timing is really critical. And that's

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where I, I look at, you know, please, nobody take this the wrong way. I look at the services and support

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from WeConnect as that mental health AED that's close by. Someone goes down. There is support and

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services in a way where that, see, this phone gets really, really happy to call and say, I need help,

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I'm struggling, you know, and if you've got kids and family, this seems hard. That's admitted.

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Life can be really hard. It's extremely beautiful, but it can be really hard. And how, you know,

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I get a daily reprieve. You know, I'm doing this day and not just like, hey, one day at a time. No,

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I get a daily reprieve. I need, I do certain disciplines that are going to combat exercise.

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It comes down from me to a relationship with myself. And it was the unpacking of the goods in my head

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that I was the greatest things since sliced bread or the worst thing that's ever lived, right?

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Neither one are tripped. Let's get Murphy over here, right sized his thoughts in a place that's

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manageable where I can manage these fears come up for all of us. These anxieties come up for all of us.

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Oh my god, we spent that much this month, right? Oh, we're going to get out of this hole, right? Okay.

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And I've seen the worst of the worst impossible situations, not only survive, but thrive in life.

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But these tools need this communication that we're sharing in this podcast. This is a very unusual podcast.

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Maybe the most unusual I've ever done. But this stuff is for real. And for me, it's all about the

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relationship with myself. And then there's stuff that people are born. You know, like I had an anxiety

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when I was little. You know, I had anxiety on the playground of getting pounded on or whatever.

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And so where did it all come from? I want to arm our children, our children's children or tools in

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and support system that more importantly, what do I do when I'm anxious? What I'm afraid is a sixth

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grader going into the middle school, right? That's tough. And then you're going to be a freshman.

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How do I say no? How do I have enough self respect to say no to that drink or decision? How do I

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make better decisions? Why is your decisions? Well, I have to have a pretty good relationship with

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boy or girl in the mirror. You know, what's my relationship with me? In the thing about

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prayer or intentions is that I can think about and pray for everybody else, but usually we never

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think of ourselves except for what I can get. But like, you know, you know, it's that relationship that

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I've learned to have with myself that has made all the difference in my recovery. And I still

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participate in my recovery. I will always participate in my recovery because guess what? The rewards

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are awesome, right? How free do you want to be? I don't want to be really free. You know, you can't

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get leverage on me if I don't have you, you know, if I don't give a rip, you know, and it's pretty

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cool. I like that definition of free too. It's nobody, nobody can own, nobody can own me, nobody has

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leverage on me, right? And it's that's back to what am I attached to? What am I seeking your approval

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and affection and your power control? All those little things and the daily disciplines,

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I get the discipline and all of it by doing the ritual and I learn that through the game of tennis

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is the practice I put in and make the investment in my serves and my point. And it really comes down

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as to for me is contrary action. The things I don't want to do are usually the things I should do.

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I don't want to go for a run today. Go for a run. It's the opposite. Life is what you find is about

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opposites. You get close to the net all of a sudden you want to swing. You get too far back at the

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baseline. You stop swinging. And then it's always the natural tendency is the opposite of what should

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have. Do the things that don't make sense is what a save my life. There you go. You hit your knees

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in the morning by your bedside. It's not so much, it's not a religious thing. It is a,

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it's for me a humbling thing that I have the humility that I literally use these words. I constantly

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remind myself I'm no longer running the show. I just do the work, do the footwork and leave the results

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up to the big of me go. And I give it everything I got. And there'll be times I win when I'm

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favorite to lose and there are times I lose when I'm favorite to win. And then sometimes there'll be

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a tie or maybe a little rain and it's out of everybody's hands. Yeah, very true. And so you're

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speaking of out of your hands, you're perfectly healthy. You've told the story a million times and I

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don't know that we need to go through the whole story. As you say, we like, we like to have a

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strange podcast as often as we can because we find that it's happy. Everybody else does all the same

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stuff. We like to do, have something unique. And so we want to bring, we connect as best we can

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to Atlanta. And so go tennis is going to get in touch with you, of course. And we're going to

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figure out how we can share this. I've got it up on the screen so you guys can't see what I'm

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looking at. But the live version has your, we connect site on the side. So I'm scrolling through that

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to be able to see it. And I forgot to turn off my ringer. Sorry about that.

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Well, every single employer organization institution, whether it's a hospital system, I think

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that the quickest way to make this available and it also covers spouses and dependents.

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You know, so if AT&T, if Delta Airlines, they've got great EAP programs and amazing benefits,

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we're working with a number of benefits brokers because we want to get this made available

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to everybody we can. Whether it's a company of 10 people or 10,000 people, why wouldn't I have,

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as a CEO, share the insight that I care about everybody that works here? That's what we're really

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saying. And it's an affordable life line. We haven't made this where we never wanted money to be

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a reason that people couldn't get access for help. And that's why at the very least there's access

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for all the free downloadable version of the app with support groupings. And to take it a step further,

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employers and health plans and and it's been the most like I mentioned at the top, most important

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impactful work of my life. And this is affecting every single town, community, city, industry, oil, gas,

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construction. You name it. Trucking, it's and it's not hard to get motivated and pumped to go to work

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today because we might just say someone's dad from often themselves, you know, it's

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heartbreaking. And so do I, I got to get to work, we got to get to work.

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And then you've given me the opportunity to share this work and our platform with you.

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So just know that you're helping, you're helping people and helping, you're part of the solution today,

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go tennis. I love to hear it. And I've got my king of tennis question that I want to do.

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Bobby, you got one more for Murphy because I know this is one of those times we could be here

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till tomorrow. I just love the whole, the definition of freedom. I thought it was out,

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because you know, we immediately say freedom. We think of financial freedom. Murphy even used

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business, acting him and describing it, but really it gets down to your first freedom has to be yourself.

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And you know, that is a message if we can make a poster or

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that, you know, my grandmother before she died, she looked at me, said, I know you want to save the

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world. Take care of yourself first. And it seems selfish, but it's, there was, there were good marching

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orders. That's incredible. You made me think about the sticker I have wherever I trust my team.

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Yeah. And it says, you're looking at the problem.

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I can't blame the world and for TV. I know, but I'm also looking at the solution.

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You know, I put like, put the, I love your grandmother, said that or your mom?

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Yeah, it's my grandmother. Yes. And your grandmother said that, you know, and save the world. No,

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and I can't give away something that I don't that I don't have.

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You know, so I never ask anybody to do like my dad used to teach us tennis that he wasn't willing to do

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himself. And I like that dad. Well done. Yeah. And it's,

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and it's like, don't get my recovery or don't get my life. Get yours.

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You know, I mean, like Murphy or I would think I should be like some other tennis player, right?

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I'm going to play like Jolkevic today. Well, I'm left handed. We already got a problem there.

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I want to play like Rapa, well, I don't speak Spanish in this forehand is from another plan.

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But what's wrong with me being me? Maybe me is better than all of those guys.

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You know, cherish what you got. Well, it should be the only thing you're good at because if you're spending

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your time trying to be somebody else. But back to your first question, who are you?

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Murphy, what are you up to? That's what recovery has taught me is who I am really why I am here

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and who walks with me. And it's like the relationship with me and then me and the spirit of the

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universe and then me and you. Me and me, me and that, me and you. And now we're cooking because if I am

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playing God in this world, we're all in trouble. Okay. We got a bigger problem.

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That leads perfectly into my last question, which is, okay, so maybe Bobby, do we upgrade it? We say,

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okay, if you are tennis God, but we'll stick with with what we have, which is the the king of tennis.

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So if tennis did put you in charge and a side of aside from, okay, let's assume we've got AEDs everywhere they

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need to be. No, we connect. We've got it from go tennis. I want to bring this to all of our members.

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I want to find a way to do that. You and I are going to talk.

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Let's assume those things are done. Like those are the obvious things. So Murphy,

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Chenson becomes King of tennis. What do you do? What do you change anything?

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Like King of tennis. Professional tennis, amateur tennis, anywhere in the game of tennis, I

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build more chords. You can also, we talk about that. That's one thing. I think you make just know,

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and I always, because I have my life is so recovery based, access to, it's one thing more chords,

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but get more teachers, tennis teachers. You get more participation.

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People ask me, they ask you, what do you think of Pickleball? I think it's great. People got a racquet in

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their hand. They're participating. People that never would play tennis. And I think it's a great entry

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level for the game of tennis. There will be someone winning a grand slam that said I started off on

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Pickleball. You know that. That will happen. And because it's learning curve, it's kind of like

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minigaw. I don't know about you, but I play minigaw before I played 18. Oh,

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the Pickleball folks would have mad at me for saying that, but I love everybody. And yeah, the King of

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Tennis, just for the US, the whole world of tennis. You're a point of view. So I like, a lot of

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people come in and say, okay, one accessibility. Are we like affordability? And you've covered

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both of those more courts, more coaches, but you're King, which means what is it all free?

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Like you got to pay the coaches, you got to build the courts. So as a King of tennis, whether it's

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the whole world or maybe it's just in Luttington, Michigan, Luttington, did they get that right?

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Yeah, Luttington, Michigan. Is there something you'd change? Or what did Luke mention about the

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coaching in professional tennis? So there's whatever is on your mind. And I know I took away your two

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obvious answers. Okay, no, that's fine. And I mentioned those, right? You're going to affordability

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and accessibility. The truth is that for the game in tennis is a beauty and that it teaches a person,

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like, why, like, let's figure out if there's Simon Sinett who talks about it, find your why.

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Why would we play tennis? And what is missing? And what things that I experienced or didn't

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experience, what tools can we have embedded to tell you the truth is I think number one, how it's taught

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needs to change. And I'm talking about the mental side of it. This is a game that helps a person

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solve problems because no two opponents are the same. No two forehands in the pro game are the same.

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Roger Federer's forehand looks totally different than Novak's or Rafa's. All three of those guys,

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totally different chefs, totally different games yet timing. When they hit that ball, it was universal,

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right? Not how to win. And so one of the things I care about is I just talked about for an hour is

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mental health. Is that what like mental health to be a priority from a tights first lesson where we're

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going to sit, we're going to breathe. Right? Winner breathe because the more I am in tune with me,

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the better I'm going to be. The more I'm going to enjoy and love what I'm doing. We are going to play

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tennis when I go to work tennis. I hear from a lot of ex-professional tennis players. Now I'm playing for fun.

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What the heck were you doing when you were playing? That should have been fun. Yeah, it feels

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strange. I'm like, man. You know, you can say that. What does fun mean? That means being joy.

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Being joy, they probably play way better when you're out there smiling. And whoo.

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That's right. We play music all the time to stay loose. Yes, the only way Bobby will play

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is to be. Yeah. So to be joy out there and be loose and to be free and

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I don't look at what I can get from tennis. I look at what I can get to tennis. Now imagine if that

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was talked to a five year, six year old. I can get to this hour in front of us. In the talk like that,

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we communicate that language as a teacher on a coach of a five year old, six year old, seven year old,

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about 11. They're making really good decisions. And they don't need to win that trophy to be number one.

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And they don't need. And here's the other side of that coin. The parts of life are going to hurt.

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You know, you lose grandpa, grandma, sometimes down the road. That's going to hurt. But you'll get

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through it. And somehow this is going to happen. You might fail that test or not get into that

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college you're dreaming about. You'll get through it. And then you'll, and there'll be things that

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you weren't expecting that to be the best thing that could happen to you. And you'll get through that too.

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And you're going to get through it. And

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pretty cool. I think as the king of tennis, that's what I would really like to see is that

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there was more emphasis on the juniors being prepared for life,

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for physical health, mental health, all of you know, like I think that's the coolest thing.

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Well, again, I love it. And how do we make that the trophy? How do we make the process? Like you said,

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my senior in high school, I worked hard, I played baseball, ran track, decided the last year and a half.

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I'm going to dedicate myself to tennis. I was way too late. Even I'm a little older than you,

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but still back then we still couldn't do that. But you know, I tried, I got up in the morning before

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school. And when I got beat that last match, I walked out and said, you know, what, he was a good

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run. It was where I enjoyed what I learned through the process to get better. It wasn't going to end

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that day the way, you know, the storybook is supposed to end, but I felt great about a loss. I

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loved what Janis said, you know, when the box lost this year, you're calling the a failure because

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we lost the process should be what we learn about ourselves, the exercise, the, again, I have

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the same way I always catch myself. I use work and I use work as the word. And it's meant to be a

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positive. It's not you should hate this. It's, you know, or even worse today, we use discipline as

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a bad word. Discipline has become punishment, not the process of doing something to, to get any kind

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of result. And you know, how, that's to me is that there's the key or the trick. How do we instill

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this kids instead of an A or instead of a trophy or instead of a gold ball? How do we get the kids to

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realize, man, it's, it's the joy of the competing of being above ground. Man approaching another

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challenge. Yeah. What's that? What is that perspective? Yeah. It's perspective. And I don't think taking

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trophies away. We, we go out there and work for it, earn for it and lose in part of it and, and

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hurting is part of life. Absolutely. That doesn't mean that defines who you are and what you're made

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of. It means that maybe I need to go work in my forehand. Maybe I need to put in more work. Maybe I

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need to run. I love what the mamba mentality is. Do it myself every day. I look in the mirror.

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Did I get better today? Did I get better today? Did I make that investment? Am I improving today?

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I'm winning. I would rather lose a match and improve them when a match and get worse. Right.

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So, you know, this is part of my getting better today was, was joining you guys and

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blipton weights. I've ran four miles. It's raining. So tennis looks out of the cards. Maybe I go for a

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bike ride and a swim and like my wife says can't go and make Michigan, but I'm going to keep making

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those deposits into getting better. And even at 54 years old, I'm pretty sure at least my joints

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are all still good that I am possibly playing the best tennis of my life. Maybe better than when

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we won the French. Oh, is that possible? You only hear it on the strangest tennis podcast in the

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world. Maybe I'm delusional there. This guy really does have mental health issues.

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And I say that with love because, you know, it was, I can tell you, man, if you're going for it at

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that extreme, but at the same time there should be some enjoyment. Like, hey, I, what did I say?

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Now I'm having fun playing. Are you talking about you should be able to go to work and have fun.

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Be productive. Be pushed. Be challenged. You know, man, the other kids getting the ribbons and the

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medals and the trophies only only motivated me. You know, I want some of that. I'm as good as that guy

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or girl. My mom got us some indoor tennis facilities, allowed us to practice some while we started

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getting some of those trophies and eventually goal balls and would become became the number one

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junior player in the world in singles and doubles. But then the universe had a different plan when

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you walked through a New Zealand. It's maybe top 100 in singles and he puts his hands through a

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glass store and he needs to take a year and a half off. I mean, Luke was number one in the world,

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junior singles and doubles and beat Thomas Mooster on clay. Oh, no, at 18. Oh, and oh, man. And

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number one in college tennis and everything else, but something happened. There was no, it was,

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it was an unsafe glass and he sliced his hands and when he came back, money was tight and the

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doubles took off and then I turned pro and then we win the French. There was different plans. Luke

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bore a speckert. You know, I'm leaking oil that he's a beautiful guy. He went wimmeled in at 17, 18.

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You know, it's a long game, this thing called life and we got in his, in his best stuff, I pray is

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still in front of him, you know, and that, yeah, it's, it's not, it's, it's, this thing called life in

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and a joke, but it can be enjoyed and it can be, you know, you can get through some stuff and

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and I can't believe that I may even gifted with the life I have today, but it was all direct results of

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a white flag moment where I raised the white flag of surrender. You know, I'm working on some stuff

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and writing everything I experience in how I learned a surrender to win. You know, I surrendered my idea

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what this match is supposed to look like, what this talk is supposed to look like, what this

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feature is, whatever I'm doing with this day is supposed to look like I surrender to the unknown and

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allow miracles to happen. Bam, you know, opportunity for service. Bam, you know, opportunity to spill

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some ice cream on my lap. Bam, you know, mom's on the phone on the podcast today. If I had known that,

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it would have been a surprise, you know, and I'm doing Monday with you gentlemen and in the tennis world

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and I need to get back to work or I'll get fired from my company. Exactly. But you guys get it and I'll tell

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you, any of your anybody that ever sees what we just created today, you know, I'm grateful that you

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took a look and if I can ever be of service and helpful or useful to anybody that's family is hurting

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because these issues affect everybody and every community and I built a platform and a company

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that can help people and you don't have to do it alone, you know, that story you shared, Bob,

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is for real and it's happening in real time as we speak for tens of thousands of families currently

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today. It's not millions, you know, that are worried about their son or daughter with these issues

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we talked about that are worried, you know, and I think leading a healthy act of lifestyle begins with

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my relationship with myself, you know, I make these choices and these decisions based on

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a love affair I'm having with myself that I didn't even know that I was allowed to have.

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You know, you know, so thanks for your time gentlemen. Thank you, sir. Thank you.

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Well, there you have it. We want to thank rejuvenate.com for use of the studio and be sure to hit that

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follow button. For more tennis related content, you can go to Atlanta tennispodcast.com and while

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you're there, check out our calendar of tennis events deals on equipment, apparel, and more. And

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you should feel good knowing that shopping at Let's Go Tennis.com helps support this show. You can

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also donate directly using links in the show notes. And with that, we're out. See you next time.

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[Music]

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